Covering newcomers is so ineffectual. Here you are, reading about 27-year old Cillian (pronounced Killian) Murphy, whom you've probably never heard of, because his first major film, 28 Days Later..., just came out. And I'm trying to tell you that he's so adorably heroic in this excellently stylized horror flick, has the coolest Irish accent and soon everyone's going to be all, "Ooh, isn't he amazing?" just like they did about Ewan McGregor after another Danny Boyle-directed movie, Trainspotting. But you have nothing to attach yourself to yet. Oh well. That's why we have that orgasm question in there. Even your mail carrier's answer to that would be a must read.

What secret urge do you get but never act on?

Women [laughs]. Or screaming in inappropriate places, like on the tube in London. People are so tense and ridiculous, you feel like going mental sometimes.

What's the worst you've ever screwed someone over?

Firing someone from this band I was in just because he was handsome and we were jealous. We gave him the shaft and he didn't deserve it.

Who's on your "celebs to make out with" list right now?

Maggie Gyllenhaal. I think she's pretty foxy. She seems smart.

If someone forced you to get a tattoo at gunpoint, what would it be?

Nothing lewd, because that's what I would do get if I was drunk. Something that would represent loyalty in some way, in some other language. I think it's an important trait that has been overlooked.

Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Yes. I was young. You never think of men [doing it], but it's just as possible.

Did the person know?

No. I'm an actor, for God's sake.